"Conventional Opinion is the Ruin of Our Souls" -Rumi
"Conventional Wisdom is the Ruin of our Souls" -Rumi
The title of today's blog post is a favorite quote of mine. Why? Many of us spend WAY too much of our lives swayed and sometimes bent by conventional or consensus opinion and belief. The number one reason, I suspect, is fear. Fear of disconnection. Fear of separation. Fear of losing in a co-dependent relationship with a significant other or others.
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Dare not to Compare
Since comparing ourselves to others is so often a happiness killer, and since comparing ourselves to others takes energy away from achieving our own desires, I am devoting this blog installment to this favorite past-time of overachievers, and the chronically unhappy—and most of the rest of us.
First, I’m going to call out comparison game, then provide an alternative approach for those of us who would like to dare not to compare, and enjoy ourselves and others free from this zero-sum distraction from true happiness.
Are You a Thinker or Feeler: Which is better?
(And a Little Bit about Dog Training)
You’ll rarely, if ever, hear someone called a “oversensitive hard-ass” or a “cold bleeding-heart.” There’s Probably a good reason for that. Even those of us who are not familiar with Jungian personality type (Please see “About Type” at the end of this blog installment) will admit that some folks appear to decide with their heart, and others with their head. Once more, we sometimes find our opposite (of our own preference for decision-making) a bit annoying, and reserve pejoratives like “hard-ass” or “wussy” for those who have decision-making priorities so frustratingly different from our own.
"It's a fool who will use his or her favorite tool for every task, instead of the best tool—or best combination of tools—for the work at hand."
Yes, some folks default to making decisions based on facts, data logic; some folks choose on values, potential impact on relationships, emotional cues. That accepted, it’s important to recognize that both ways of approaching choice are rational, or thought-based processes, and the only difference is what kind of information is prioritized in the decision-making process. After all, thinkers feel deeply, and many feelers are brilliant at logical thinking. Read More...
Borderline Gifted, ADHD, or Both (and, Well, Something about Dandelions)
“By the way, if your child was diagnosed with ADHD, or is labeled an underachiever, he or she is in good company. Famous ADHD-ers include Steven Spielberg, Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Ann Bancroft, and many more. Underachievers (in school) included Charles Darwin, Carl Jung, Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Gauguin, Turner, Edouard Manet, and Rodin. These are but a few examples!”
A few days ago, my wife of 31-years proclaimed to me that I was “borderline gifted.” Now depending on your own self-image, you might have received such a pronouncement as either an insult, or a compliment. Coming from Sue, who is a “show-me” kind of gal, it was indeed a compliment, and my response was hearty laughter. What did I do to earn this borderline gifted status? What did I need to do to achieve full-fledge “gifted” rank? It was just too-funny.
Passion vs. Addiction (Mini-Blog)
I think that confusion comes when we see “passion” and “obsession/addiction” as related conditions. For me, the distinction between the former and the latter is pretty clear-cut.
Passion is almost always about moving *towards* something for positive reasons, while addiction/obsession is almost always about engaging in a powerful distraction to *escape* something unwanted. That "something unwanted" is often emotional pain, but a sense of powerlessness is also a huge driver for aberrant behaviors.
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Are You Selfish, or Selfless? (You Might be Surprised)
Every Valentine’s day, I buy my wife at least three Valentine’s Day cards. I buy a funny one, a really sentimental gushy one, and then a blank one with beautiful artwork in which I write my own heartfelt feelings for her. Yeah, I’m a romantic.
This year, when I walked in the Papyrus at the local mall, I noticed they were having a buy 3, get 1 free sale. Try as might, though, I couldn’t find a fourth card that seemed to fit Sue and me. If you read my previous blog, you know that I enjoy spontaneous acts of kindness, so it would not surprise you that I suddenly got an idea: I would go to the check-out with three cards in hand, and if I noticed someone in line with only one card, and the vibe was right, I’d offer to put their Valentine’s Day card on my bill. Read More...
Random Acts of Coffee
Last Thursday morning, I asked the hotel desk clerk if my BlackBerry GPS was right; if there really was a Starbucks coffee shop about four miles away.
Eyes “saucered” with enthusiasm, she replied, “There’s one closer than that!” and delivered the download on how to get there.
I made for my car, but turned just as the exit’s automatic door hissed to an open stop.
“Do you want one?” I asked.
“A Starbucks?” she asked in return.
“Yes, I can bring you one back...”
“Are you kidding?! Yes! That’s so cool!”
As I walked back to the desk, she made a quick scrawl of the latte instructions, slid them across the counter to me, and off I went... Read More...